hmm...jus gonna revive tis blog soon...
jus wait fer mi...
hmm...back frm camp few daes back...
guess u still dulan nw wif wendy bah...
k chill...try dun angry lor...
try to enjoy ur camp...
smile more...
anithing jus msg mi lor...
weimings alwaes dere...
i wun giv up...but jus take it tt i giv up le...
i said i giv up...
i said i giv up...
i said i giv up...
guess i dun nid to trouble wendy animre...
to save her frm bein bothered by tis also...
omg i feel so fuck up...
i guess i m gettin my retribution...
my past is finalli here to haunt mi...
wads the use of havin so mani relationship b4...
i finalli realise...
wads the use...
u all tink i realli liek my past...
who would nt wan to hav...
sumone u realli love...
sumone by ur side...
sumone who cn las wif u...
sumone whom u cn be happi wif...
i m no expection...
i m lonely...
i said i giv up...
but i dun realli feel tt wae bah...
fuck...i hate myself...
havin a past liek mi...
will make u soon realise tt...
u wouldn't ever wan ur past to come back again...
retribution is wad u will get...
haish...i m emo...
aniwae i wanna sae smth...
ckt is nv complete without ani of us...
includin u devon...
so nxt tym when ckt together...
try to tok mre k...
hope u dun feel left out...
u r part of us!!!
weimings alwaes here...= )
hmm...came to post since i m still awake...
jus reached hm nt long ago...
its 7.37am...dunno y jus feel liek bloggin...
shall recap bout sum things bah...
i noe its hard to forget...
i noe the memories r dere...
but r u goin to be stuck dere fereva...
once again...
guess tym is wad u nid again...
hmm...u didn't came fer nel bdae...
sry if my words was abit too harsh...
i didn't mean it...seriously...
i dun...sry once again...
hope u dun take it to heart...
i still rmb tt dae...
when u said everything to mi...
thru tt communicatin device...
when u said tt thing...
tt time bout u dun suit mi...
and i dun suit u...
i was stunned fer words at tt moment...
i didn't realli noe wad to reply u...
but it was quite sad to hear tt thou...
nvm...i will still be waitin...
since u nid tym...
den i shall use tym...
nvm...i m also emo myself...
but honestly speakin...
i didn't mean to make u feel bad...
aniwae...i m still waitin...
fer the dae to ask u out...
aniwae...i told u bout my past...
guess it will even make my chance of jio u...
impossible...impossible...
hmm...but nvm...its normal...
i regret my past...
all i hope nw is...
fer u to takkaire of yaself...
aniwae the las tym i saw u was...
durin the ckt dinner...
beens liek so long uh...
k bah...mit up soon...
weimings still here...
i shall try to make...the impossible possible...
but hope by sayin tis...
i m nt givin u mre pressure and problems...
hope u dun get pissed off by wad i said...
aniwae u r soft-hearted...
its obvious...smiledevonsmile...
tts my purpose of creatin tis blog...= )
aniwae i cn be ur listenin ear...
i hate my past...
i hate all the things i did in the past...
i hate bein emo...
i hate the feelin of bein alone...
i hate reality...
i hate the fate tt i cnt turn back tym...
i hate seein the gurl i liek wif another guy...
i hate myself...
i hate nt able to do anithing when u r down...
i hate my life...
i hate myself fer hurtin sum gurls in the past...
i hate doin things which makes mi feel guilty...
i hate starin at the com wif nth to do...
i hate to c ppl quarrel...
i hate to c ppl fightin over relationship probs...
i hate myself fer bein who i m...
i hate nt bein able to study well...
i hate losin concentration...
i hate the feelin when u wanna cry but u wun...
i hate the time when u emo...
i hate the pain of missin u...
i hate dissapointin the ppl around mi...
i hate skul...
i hate backstabbers...
i hate seein strangers havin their stead wif them...
i hate flirts who alwaes gets the gurls they wan...
i hate lotsa things...
i hate to spend monie on meaninless things...
i hate bein broke...
i hate to get scoldin frm ppl...
i hate to c quarrelin goin on in my grp of frens...
i hate to make gurls cry...
i hate to c gurls cry...
i hate the tym when i m nt doin anithing...
i hate missin sumone...
i hate myself when i rmb my past...
i hate ppl when they broke their promises...
i hate slackin alone...
i hate goin fer trainins...
i hate myself fer bein fat...
i hate myself when i dun appreciate things ppl do...
i hate writin emo post...
i hate to drink...
i hate to goin fer skul events...
i hate to listen to teachers nag...
i hate listenin to ppl kpkb...
i hate myself fer nt bein understandin...
i hate the feelin of gettin rejected...
i hate stress...
i hate doin hmwork...
i hate the feelin of bein forced to do smth...
i hate my mouth...
i hate my feelins...
i hate myself fer crappin...
i hate breakin promises...
i hate myself fer neglectin ppl...
i hate it also when everyone neglect mi...
i hate nt havin my brothers by my side...
i hate havin to c CKT ppl quarrelin...
i hate myself fer kippin things to myself...
i hate ppl fer nt bein understandin...
i hate when gettin punished...
i hate standin in the hot sun...
i hate day-dreamin...
i hate gettin pissed off...
i hate to kip quiet when sumone do smth wrong...
i hate myself fer bein lame...
i hate when ppl giv mi sacastic looks...
i hate stayin at hm...
i hate it when the com hangs...
i hate it when i couldn't find the things i wan...
i hate fer nt knowin my goals in life...
i hate fer failin in life...
i hate showin attitude...
i hate it when i do smth wrong...
i hate everything...
almost everything...
fer writin tis emo post also...
but i love u...
haish...i dunno wad to do...
ain't nt givin up...
no matter wad...
weiming will alwaes be here...
and i hate myself...
fer nt bein to answer ur questions sumtimes...
sry...and dun feel bad...
everythings nt ur fault...
its all wishin tinkin on my part...
hmm...todae shall try to write a mega post bah...
all on tis veri blog...
beens liek alreadi a few daes since i create tis blog...
times realli files man...
but shes still bothered by her problems i tink...
jus liek lotsa of problems botherin her...
nvm...wanna let her noe tt all ckt is behind her...
no one is givin her up...
didn't realise tt its alreadi 9plus...
tis shows tt times realli files...
tinkin bout skul makes mi feel so irritated...
skul,stress,emo,scoldin...
tis maybe be some of the feelins or words to describe bah...
but realli...back to relationship stuff...
until nw...i tink nobody cn realli giv the real definition of love...
jus a four letter word...
but yet nt jus a simple four letter word...
nt even myself is able to giv the real meanin of it...
maybe some ppl will giv meanin liek...
love is... : i liek u,u liek mi...
i love u,u love mi...
i nid u,u nid mi...
i mis u,u mis mi...
k jus givin some of wad ppl may tink bah...
but all tis to some ppl it may be all rite...
but to some ppl its jus bullshittin...
after all...love is nt sumthing i plae wif...
even on tis veri min...
alot of things is goin through my mind...
things of wad to write...
things of wad i wanna sae to u...
but i tink some things r beta left unsaid...
if nt tears will be rollin down frm cheeks again...
hmm...u cn be happi...
in alot of waes...
u also cn be sad...
in also alot of waes...
but all these will all end up bein memories...
feelins do fade...
but its onli a matter of time...
maybe it will be fereva...
but no one noes...
jus liek the sayin goes...its takes two hands to clap...
so the same works fer relationships...
if one side falls...the other also will fall...
although i heard b4 frm ppl tt u regreted joinin ckt...
but i m nt realli sure whether issit true...
but i hope its nt true bah...
but nvm...its ur own tinkin...
no one cn chng ur tinkin...
maybes theres someone...
i also dunno...
frm all of the things i said so far...
guess realli cn show tt i realli dunno alot bah...
but nvm...i will try to understand...
even if i cnt manage...
but i m glad tt at least i tried...
k wait...guess i m goin out of point...
lets go back to the topic...
i m still brainstormin tis veri min...
jus tryin to make tis post a mega post...
if u realli will read everything tt i posted...
den i guess at least i cn kip ur concentration on smth...
at least of lettin u emo dere alone...
or maybe even cryin...
but i dunno wad its feels liek to cry...
been a few years since i last cry...
but i guess sumtimes maybe cryin will make u feel beta bah...
but nah...weimings nt gonna to cry...
once i cried...i guess alot of things gonna chng bah...
i once made 3 gurls cried b4...
first person is my ex...
second is my mei shauna...
third is wendy...
but maybe all cried fer a reason bah...
cuz normalli gurls cry when they feel bad or sad...
k giv mi 1 min brk...my eyes r gettin watery...
............
............
............
......k 1min is up....
time precious...so i beta nt waste it...
i shall continue writin...
hmm...hw shuld i continue...
still rmb the picture of u which i posted on the first post...
hmm...den still rmb the nite i said i slept at 2plus am...
actualli...i stared at the picture all the wae still 2am tt dae...
k shall sae no mre bout it...
aniwae dun feel bad bout mi doin anithing fer ya...
cuz u didn't ask mi to do it...
i did it all willingly...
cuz weimings still here...and still...
he will alwaes try to be here...
or even try to be chattin on the phone wif u...
aniwae...he lieks chattin on the phone wif ya...
although these few daes didn't realli tok much...
but dun worry...weiming understands...
hmm...aniwae wonderin hw much time has past
by the tym u read until here...
k bah...its ur choice whether u wanna continue readin nw...
cuz i m goin to begin my second part of my post...
tis time i m goin to tok bout some of my past...
k bah...u cn stop here if u wan....
but i m goin to continue aniwae...
i m typin in tis manner as if i m tokin wif u face to face nw...
k bah...my past...
last time...i used to tink tt love is smth liek...
u got someone by ur side...
someone whose hand u cn hold...
someone who u cn hug when u r down or happi...
maybe all my tinkin was wrong all along...
maybe love is jus liek havin sumone mre to care bout u...
sumone u cn confide in...
someone who cn alwaes be by ur side...
but nth is perfect...
no one cn be dere all da time...
sumtimes ur stead will show attitude to u...
but no choice...
forgiv and forget...
aniwae i use to be a dam xiao qi guy last time...
when i got my first ex...
i used to be angry wif her over small things...
jus liek one time when i went downstairs...
wif my cousins...mittin her...
den went down i sat dere...
they all were playin wif the dog...
she nv tok to mi...
den i got angry jus over tis...
i went up to my cousin hus...
i called her and i scolded her...
tinkin back nw...guess i m a bastard bah...
maybe i m still one nw...
but i shall try to chng...
cuz xiao qi guys alwaes tend to hav a bad attitude...
but nah...maybe emo is beta then bein xiao qi???
lol...nah...none is gud...
the best is to be happi go lucki...
aniwae although so far i got 17 ex...
but i tink those relationship which i realli cherish...
maybe onli got 2 of dem bah...
but so far...i nv experience one mth wif a stead b4...
nvm...i m pathetic bah...
wonder when tt tym will come...
but when i comes...
i will love tt stead to death man...
wonder wads the feelin of 1mth...
but nvm...i believe i will experience it one dae...
i will try to turn tt 1mth into...
1yr...
10yrs...
100yrs...
haha...nah...i cnt live tt long...
wait...i m gettin out of point again...
nvm...i shall live my life meaninfully...
the word emo shall be my enemy...
aniwae last time nt habin a stead fer 1mth seems liek a miracle...
las time when alwaes i broke wif my stead...
i will tell kurt,jane and zl...
i dun wan to hav stead liao...
they will all be laughin at mi...
sayin tt its impossible...
haha...but tinkin bah...
at tt period of tym...
its realli quite impossible...
aniwae i guess i m a failure...
cuz i failed in alot of things tt i done...
sum things which is still kip in suspense frm ppl...
maybe sum of my close frens will noe y...
jus liek ditchin one gurl fer another...
but i guess its my mouth tts playin the devil...
wait...another min...
eyes gettin watery again...
............
............
.......k 1min up again...
................
although u sae thanx to mie...
fer bein dere fer yah...
although u sae its impossible fer mi to be wif u...
but i wan to sae smth...
which will stae in my memories...
even if u wun accept...
but at least i spend a part of my life...
even though its onli a small part...
but i spend tis part of my life...
writin tis post fer u...
tryin to tink of waes...
realli tinkin of alot of waes...
tryin to help u stop emo...
but i noe...u realli love him alot...
but tt doesn't stops mi frm liekin u...
doesn't stop mi frm jioin u...
wonderin hw much words i hab write so far...
nvm...the mre i write...
the mre time u will spend readin...
or maybe u stop sumwher alreadi...
but if u r still readin tis veri min...
maybe cn jus write a post also to show tt u r still readin...
i mean a post on tis blog...
aniwae i also dun realli noe y i got inspired to create tis blog...
i mean create tis blog fer u...
maybe is thru brainstormin bah...
maybe a wae to sae things to u bah...
aniwae if i use msg to sae all those things which i hav said so far...
i guess my bill will explode man...
n my mums gonna kill mi...
haha...jus tryin to sae smth...
to help u relax abit...
stop tinkin bout the the problems fer awhile...
cuz even awhile will help...
time is wad u nid...
and time is wad u hab...
so make use of ur time...
k bah...guess i been tokin too much le...
last part liao...
aniwae todae i ask hans jus nw...
as u noe ckt ppl all chng they msn nick to smth liek...
CK ****
but i noe u didn't chng...
so to show tt all the ckt ppl r behind u...
i got hans approval...
we shall chng to l+****+l
to show tt we r alwaes behind u...
u cn be liek b4 Devon...
trust in urself...as well as trust in us...
hope u wun feel tt i m bullshittin here bah...
but aniwae...it all up to u...
up to u wad u wanna do...
up to u how u wanna tink...
k i shall end here...
post again maybe tml...
Weimings alwaes here... = )
takkaire...lotsa lurve...
I'm still waiting...